What Choosing an Urn Taught Me About Grief, Love, and Letting Go

After my mom passed, everything felt like a blur. The silence, the tasks, the unexpected laughter, the overwhelming sorrow. But among it all, one moment still stands out: scrolling through designs, trying to choose a container that would hold her ashes — and somehow, all of who she was.

It felt impossible. Until it didn’t.

I Started with the Basics: The Core of All Cremation Urns

I began where most people do — with the classics. The cremation urns at Yatskia caught my attention right away. Elegant shapes, timeless finishes, and soft, understated beauty. They weren’t flashy. They didn’t try too hard. They just… felt right.

They reminded me of the quiet strength in people — those who lived gently but left lasting impressions. These urns didn’t ask to be noticed; they simply belonged.

I saved a few that spoke to me. Then kept scrolling.

Then I Found the Urn That Felt Like Her

As I looked deeper, I stumbled on a category called mom urns. And there it was — this soft rose-colored urn with a subtle flower motif. It was beautiful without being overdone. It felt warm, like my mom’s hugs. It felt familiar.

She always loved lilacs. She wore the same shade of pink lipstick for 30 years. And she made a point of noticing beauty — in people, in art, in small things.

That urn brought back a thousand memories. It wasn’t just about what would hold her ashes. It was about what would hold her story.

I Thought About Others I’d Lost — And What Their Urns Might Be

I never chose a Phoenix urn, but when I saw the design, I immediately thought of my uncle.

He’d faced so many challenges — addiction, divorce, career losses — and still, he rose. Always stronger. Always more grounded. The phoenix, with its fiery symbolism and vibrant energy, would’ve been the perfect tribute to someone like him.

For those who lived boldly, who transformed through hardship, and whose lives burned bright, the phoenix urn isn’t just symbolic. It’s accurate.

Some Souls Are Soft — But Still So Strong

There was another design I bookmarked. I didn’t need it, but it touched me: the purple butterfly urn. There was something about it that reminded me of my friend Maya.

She wasn’t loud. She didn’t chase big dreams. But she was kind. She listened. She taught kids with disabilities. She loved plants and poetry and rainy days. When she passed away suddenly at 42, the silence she left behind was overwhelming.

The butterfly is a symbol of transformation, and purple is the color of compassion, spirituality, and peace. That urn would have been perfect for her.

What I Learned While Looking

Here’s the truth no one tells you: choosing an urn isn’t about taste. It’s about emotion. And intuition. And trust.

You’ll know when it’s right. You’ll feel it in your chest, like a tiny click that settles the ache, even if just for a moment.

For me, finding my mom’s urn was a turning point. It didn’t fix the grief — nothing can. But it gave it shape. It offered a symbol I could return to. A beautiful reminder of the woman who shaped me.

Final Thoughts

We don’t get to control when we say goodbye. But we do get to choose how we remember. Whether it’s a classic design from the cremation urns collection, a loving tribute from the mom urns, the fiery spirit of the Phoenix urns, or the peaceful transformation of a purple butterfly urn — Yatskia offers more than products. They offer presence.

And in the hardest chapters of our lives, presence is everything.