How Can We Fix Our Communication in a Relationship?

Open lines of communication are key to any successful relationship. Once that starts to break down, misunderstandings, feeling resentful of and distant from each other can quickly set in. A common question many couples have is, “How to fix communication in a relationship?” There is one effective, research-based resource that can help: a couples therapy workbook for healing. Guided resources These resources lead you and your spouse through exercises that facilitate meaningful conversation, emotional safety and understanding– all key parts of restoring broken communication.

Communication problems can be a factor in 1 of every 3 divorces [source: Gibson]. A study find out that 65% of couples who suffered from chronic miscommunication end up feeling much less emotional intimacy and conflict resolution. The hopeful news is that you can enhance those communication abilities with conscious practice, supported reflection, and the assistance of structured interventions such as therapy-based workbooks.

Before we get into what you can do about it, let’s talk about why you and I suck at communicating with our significant others. Couples fall into habits of defensive hearing, presumption, and counter-speaking. These patterned responses are a product of a combination of personal history, stress, emotional undercurrents and the absence of healthy relational tools. In the long term, poor communication can result in criticism, stonewalling, passive aggression, or total emotional withdrawal.

The first step to healing communication is self-awareness — knowing not just what you say, but how you say it. A couples therapy book on healing often has exercises that may encourage one to reflect on his or her own communication patterns, triggers, and emotional needs. This process fosters empathy and patience, helping each partner gain the ability to see things from the partner’s point of view. Given its close relationship to feeling good about a relationship, empathy in particular is a strong predictor of relationships satisfaction, according to a meta-analysis of research on empathy and relationship satisfaction in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

Halfway through the path of healing, couples often address unhealed emotional wounds that prevented the couples from having an open conversation. Whether it’s old grievances unspoken, unvoiced disappointment or fears of vulnerability, these invisible dynamics can strangle healthy communication. Well-designed journaling prompts and therapist-created prompts included in a workbook for couples therapy for healing provide a framework for couples to take these concerns out into the sunshine in a safe and productive way. Studies from The Gottman Institute have shown that couples who participate in reflective writing and directed emotional expression are over 40% more likely to engage in calm, rational conversation with each other.

It is also important for couples to develop the ability to listen — and not just passively. Active listening is paraphrasing your partner, validating how they feel and checking for understanding before responding. Many partners believe they are listening, when in fact, they’re just waiting for their turn to rebut. Active listening is conducive to trust and helps to prevent misunderstandings. Partners who do the structured communication exercises see a 30-50% increase in conflict resolution in just a few weeks, according to the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.

Technology and stress can also have a detrimental effect on communication. These days partners tend to put the external world above their relationship care. Devices, jobs, kids and social media take up attention that might be spent on bonding. By building in conscious time for relational check-ins—be it daily, talking-over-coffee rituals, or weekend workbook exercises—we can start to reverse the trend. Some couples successfully schedule “communication sessions” where they discuss issues with the aid of structured tools.

The hope by the end of healing is not that you learn to make the same mistakes in a more palatable way, but that you create a relationship that is stronger and emotionally more responsive to various elements of the couple’s environment. Couples who work through the tools with a trained professional usually find new levels to their relationship—common goals, greater emotional security, and increased respect for each other. A beautifully designed couples therapy workbook for healing, it gives you a road map to turn the scattered, frustrated mess of your conversations into finely honed, healing connectionS – to build your bond and love, to clarify your communications, and breathe new life into your relationship.

In conclusion, communication in a relationship doesn’t simply improve because we want it to – it requires structure, vulnerability and consistent work. Even when you’re merely negotiating small misunderstandings or attempting to recover from emotional distance, tools like a couples therapy workbook for healing can lead the way one page at a time. It doesn’t have to stay hard — in fact, it can become your bond and the thing that keeps you together and strong for the rest of your lives.